tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-80766240874654050822024-02-08T09:05:15.457-08:00Thoughts from an Autistic VeganAutistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-12342636838248667852017-04-02T09:40:00.001-07:002017-04-02T09:57:28.480-07:00Acceptance, "Awareness," and Education<span style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">It's World Autism "Awareness" Day, and I want to talk about ableism in education. </span><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I come from multiple perspectives because I am Autistic, a parent of Autistic children, and a teacher of disabled and nondisabled students. So by trade I am considered a "special ed" teacher, though I dislike that phraseology. I want to talk about my colleagues though, and how "special ed" teachers see themselves and their students.</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">The unfortunate fact is that many "special ed" teachers see themselves as heroes simply for working with disabled children. They believe their job is to rescue these children from the fate of being disabled, rather than to support and accommodate. I see emails, shirts, initiatives by these teachers, proclaiming need for awareness, or talking of how the children "struggle every day." </div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">What they do not recognize is that the struggle is caused by lack of accommodation. Kids are told who they are and what they can do, and how they experience the world, is wrong. They are asked to do without accommodations, to learn to not need them. They assume we wish to not be disabled. That being disabled is inherently bad. It's not. Being disabled with appropriate accommodations is ok. It is not lesser.</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">So our approach is very different. I look for ways to accommodate. They try to fix. If a child does not walk, it is not my job to teach child to walk. It is my job to make sure places we go are wheelchair accessible. </div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">It causes trauma to these students. Kids clearly communicate, but teacher withholds in order to "teach" them. Kid cries out in pain as they are made to do things their disabled body is not meant to do. </div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;"><br></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">We need to flip the script. Look for how to support and accommodate needs. Not look for how to make child no longer have needs.</div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-35713059822198966252017-04-01T14:48:00.001-07:002017-04-01T14:54:41.622-07:00Ocean Music<div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Crash of waves</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Smell and taste of salt</div><span style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Clams dig themselves to safety again and again. </span><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">One of my favorite stims.</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">I have always loved the repetitive magic of this.<div>Waves unearth clams, and the clams dig themselves down again. </div><div>Predictable. Magical. </div><div>The pattern is always the same: unearthing, digging down.</div><div>Seemingly inanimate object, but they are not. </div><div>Living beings.</div><div>If you watch them, you'll know.</div></div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Too many walk past and miss the magic.</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">Can't see it, feel it, take it in.</div><div style="color: rgb(69, 69, 69); font-family: UICTFontTextStyleBody; font-size: 23px; text-decoration: -webkit-letterpress;">My Autistic perspective feels the magic. </div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-91192645151104251152017-01-14T10:59:00.001-08:002017-01-14T11:29:10.669-08:00The Devastating Dismantling of the Affordable Care ActI have been thinking a lot about the Affordable Care Act and am so sad watching it be dismantled. It's a terrifying prospect for so many people. This feels personal for me too, though I want to emphasize that I am one of the lucky ones that is less likely to be dramatically affected by the ripping apart of necessary healthcare, piece by piece. Because currently I can work, and have health insurance through my job, I am not likely to be devastatingly affected like so many of my disabled friends. <div><br></div><div>I do want to talk specifically about the pre-existing conditions clause. This has directly affected me and is likely to continue to affect so many disabled people. </div><div><br></div><div>8 years ago, I didn't have a job. I had spent 9 years at home with my own children. Then my husband lost his job and the company he had worked for no longer existed. So we needed to purchase health insurance for our family of 5 through the private sector.</div><div><br></div><div>Besides the ridiculously expensive payments, we were hit with another surprise. I was told I was ineligible to purchase health insurance because I had a pre-existing condition. </div><div><br></div><div>The funny thing was that this pre-existing condition was news to me. I had seen a doctor earlier that year for suspected migraines, and that was the pre-existing condition that made me ineligible. </div><div><br></div><div>I want to be clear that I think everyone should be eligible for health insurance. Anything less is a death sentence for people with chronic illness. That is important. </div><div><br></div><div>It was terrifying to hear that I am ineligible for health insurance because my possible migraine could be a possible brain tumor. So the logic was that the person with a possible brain tumor should be without health insurance. </div><div><br></div><div>It kept me from pursuing treatment of migraines. 8 years later, they are still disabling and still untreated. Because it became too scary. </div><div><br></div><div>So now I sit here in what is really a place of privilege. I have health insurance through my employer. My whole family does. So we will be unaffected. </div><div><br></div><div>But I also come at this from a place of being terrified. I recognize that I need mental health care for my other neurodivergences. And yet, that will just be another pre-existing condition. And what happens if my situation changes? </div><div><br></div><div>So I am by far not even close to the terror that this can really be for so many people. And yet, I am close enough to it to recognize how terrifying this is for so many of us. </div><div><br></div><div>And I want to point out that many people supporting this dismantling of the Affordable Care Act claim to be Christians, supporting life and caring for other people. But I am sorry, this simply can't be true. You are supporting killing us. </div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-54960644165486942842017-01-11T14:48:00.001-08:002017-01-11T17:08:49.670-08:00Invisible PersonI use this space as a place to map out my thoughts, especially when my feelings are negative and I have unsorted thoughts. So it can be a stream of consciousness, but it is real, and it helps me sort things out. <div><br></div><div>So I am thinking about how I am this invisible person. I've always been invisible, even to people close to me, maybe even especially to people close to me. </div><div><br></div><div>I get it. I'm quiet. I have a hard time interacting with people. If anything makes me even a little uncomfortable, I have an even harder time interacting with people. I don't stand out. I don't have amazing or novel ideas really. I'm certainly not the life of the party.</div><div><br></div><div>But what I am is the lynchpin. I quietly hold things together and go mostly unnoticed. Sure I am there if you come looking for me. I'll be there to celebrate with you when you are happy about something. I'll be there to try to help you through it when things go wrong. But it is in a quiet way, steady, slow, silent.</div><div><br></div><div>The problem is that while I definitely do not want to be the center of things, I like the background..... I do wanna know people care, that they see me, that they remember I am there, holding things up in the background. Sometimes I feel forgotten. Lost. Because invisible you know. But that doesn't work for me. I need to feel remembered and cared about, or I quietly walk away, because I don't know what else to do. </div><div><br></div><div>Once, as a kid, I had a meltdown, and loudly cried, saying to my family, "you treat me like a speck of dust in the corner." They dismissed this, and laughed about it for years after. But the sentiment holds true today. Back then I was crying out, trying to articulate the same thing I am still trying to articulate today. That I need to be seen. I need to matter. Because even if I am invisible, I am still there, thinking and feeling, and holding things up in the background. </div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-89163401539237993392016-11-15T03:36:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:42:32.584-08:00How to be an ally- (from one marginalized perspective)I have been thinking a lot about allies and what it means to be an ally. What do we want an ally to do? <div><br><div>I consider myself an ally for many marginalized groups that I am not a member of. I certainly have considerable privilege. I think the biggest thing is to listen to members of those groups though. See what they think it means for you to be an ally for them. I try to do those in things if/when I am able. And I think it is very ok to not be able to do lots of things for people. It's ok to have limitations. </div><div><br></div><div><b>Activism can look like using your own platform to amplify marginalized perspectives. </b>It can be as simple as retweeting marginalized voices. I think that is really important. You don't really need to add your own voice. You can simply give them your platform. Because if you are in a position of power, more people respect what you have to say, or what you share, than people respect that marginalized person. Share their Facebook post. Don't add commentary like, "what do you think?" Just share the marginalized perspective. </div><div><br></div><div>Activism can look like listening to marginalized people with an open mind. Be less ready with your reason for why they are wrong. Be more ready to say, "I learn so much from you. Thank you for taking the time to teach me." Don't judge our tone. We are angry for a reason and it may hurt your feelings a bit, but that's ok. It's part of the process. </div><div><br></div><div>Yes communities are wide and diverse and opinions vary. Sometimes it's ok to take a step back and refrain from judgment. I do this a lot. If I am not part of a community, I wait, I listen. But I also think that once a community has spoken, and has a general group consensus, that consensus should be respected and not debated by people outside the community. (It's always ok for people within a community to continue to discuss and evolve.) If a community is not at consensus, it's still not your job to tell that marginalized community member that they are wrong. Their experience and opinion are not wrong.</div><div><br></div><div>I hear people all over simply asking to be heard. Listen to us, accept our words as valid. Share our message. That's how you ally. </div></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-19458116971624629552016-11-12T07:38:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:42:20.175-08:00As We Grieve~ A Love LetterThe community I love is grieving right now. As a whole, we are angry and hurt and terrified. The reason for this is, of course, the recent American election of Donald Trump. <div><br></div><div>We are frightened not only of his policies, but of legitimacy he gives to hateful, bigoted people. I am a disabled queer person who has only embraced my identity in full in the last few years, when it felt safe. Now I face a world that feels immediately less safe overnight. And I know that the world is scarier still for many others. Marginalized people lost Liberty this week. If you think this election is just about "my side lost," then you are too priveliged to feel the real impact. </div><div><br></div><div>But as we grieve, part of what I need to do is to tell my community how much I love you. In a world of hate, I guess I think we need to hear it. I've watched us band together to protest injustice. I've watched us check in on each other and ask if everyone is ok. We offer to help one another, whether that be knitting a cap or making some soup, or talking to each other. </div><div><br></div><div>I love how in this community we are really good at knowing where each other's soft edges are, and caring for those edges. We affirm and reinforce things again and again because it is so desperately needed. We add trigger warnings and content notes to protect each other. We add image descriptions to increase accessibility. I just really love the way we look out for each other. </div><div><br></div><div>So right now I am grieving. I am terrified I am angry that there is enough hate in America that this really could happen. But I am glad I am not facing that alone. Disabled people and other marginalized people are supporting each other through this, and for that I am grateful. </div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-85943097381313410992016-11-06T10:22:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:42:10.622-08:00Thoughts on trigger warnings, media, and abuseCN: sexual abuse and childhood sexual abuse, emotional and physical abuse<div><br></div><div>I have had these thoughts for a while, and I have been in too dark of a place to write about it. It is hard for me to write about, both because it stirs up bad memories that I would rather dissociate from, as well as because I am having a hard time with people that are mostly on my side. </div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div>CN: childhood sexual abuse, abuse</div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">So first I will tell you my story. I don't remember most of my childhood. What I do remember of my p*rents involves a lot of emotional abuse and some physical abuse, as well as some questionable sexual abuse. Then in August I remembered more things, about other people sexually abusing me. I was grabbed in private areas by a family member and then gaslit when he pretended nothing happened. I remember once directly confronting and him directly saying nothing happened. There were other times I said nothing and neither did anyone else say anything.</span></div><div><br></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">My brain forgot those things. On purpose. Because I needed to forget. I only remembered *some* of my experiences when it became vital that I remember. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">Then Donald Trump came along and he said awful things because he is a despicable person. I am referring to the Access Hollywood interview here. So.... The thing is yes, he needs to be called out. Of course what he said was not ok! But throwing his words in my face and the faces of those with similar experiences, is also not ok.</font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">I see memes talking about "pussy grabs back." I see political ads that remind us of his words. And the thing is, the people you are defending, you are harming us more. Because it is everywhere, without warning. And this is far too raw for me right now to just be ok with this. </font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif"><br></font></div><div><font face="Helvetica Neue Light, HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif">So yes, vote against this creep! Yes, call out his actions! But add a trigger warning. Remember the people you are defending before posting. </font></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-89656587128983392452016-10-23T13:14:00.001-07:002017-01-11T15:41:56.730-08:00Disabled Self WorthI have been thinking about how afraid I am to talk to people. I assume people don't like me, don't want to spend time with me, and unfortunately, this is not uncommon among Autistic people. <div>It began because I read the words of another Autistic, describing those dreadful calls for pity of an Autistic person, inevitably arranged by an abled loved one, to send birthday cards. You can read that post here. <a href="https://www.facebook.com/andrew.hogginbottom/posts/10207073459946248" style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">https://www.facebook.com/andrew.hogginbottom/posts/10207073459946248</a> <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">Other times it asks that we simply "like" the photo to tell the disabled person they are beautiful. It may feel like abled people are helping, telling us we are beautiful, but the message is clear. </span><i style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">You are not enough on your own. Abled people can take time to give you a thrill now and then though. </i></div><div><i><br></i></div><div>We are so much more than this. I'm a teacher and a parent of Autistic kids. They interact with abled kids and abled teachers and therapists. They are amazing and I fall in love with them each individually, not in spite of their autism, because of their autism! When they can't stop talking about languages because they love languages that much, or they use a script that so accurately tells me just how they are and what they need at that moment, more than trying to describe it ever could, when they marvel at the beauty in a drop of water as it hits the light. How could you not love that? </div><div><br></div><div>But we are taught that we are less than. People say we can not care for other humans. That we are heartless. Nevermind that Autistic people have made me feel far more like they see me and care for my emotional needs than any abled person has. We hear that a man so deplorable it sends shivers down my spine to think he may become our next president, must be mentally ill, because of course a neurotypical person could not be that deplorable. We see depictions in haunted houses and Halloween decor of the scary mental patient. Nevermind that most violent crimes are committed by people without a mental illness. </div><div><br></div><div>So I hide. I avoid people. I assume people hate me. Because let's be honest, they probably do. I act strangely, go out of my way to be weird. I don't make eye contact. I can't do small talk. And all you've ever been taught is to feel sorry for me. Send me a card on my birthday. Take me as your pity date to the prom. Do a Best Buddies project with me. </div><div><br></div><div>It's no wonder so many of us struggle to feel like real people. Wanted people. Loved people. If you are a parent, therapist, teacher, etc., do better. Show us that you see us for real.</div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-45300214766462485712016-02-27T10:51:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:41:40.845-08:00Value in Diversity<div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">One of the most common themes I see is people belittling others based on intelligence. Use of ableist slurs is so common that people don't even bat an eye when ableist language is thrown into G rated movies without a thought. Why is this? People are equating lower intelligence, learning disabilities, and slow processing time to being a bad person, unworthy.</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">In fact, I think the value of a person is not based on intelligence at all. Qualities I look for in a person include kindness, compassion, and support for equality. But people don't hurl bigoted at another person as an insult, like they would an ableist slur...</span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">There has been a campaign on social media recently called #SayTheWord. The word they are referring to is disabled. So many people are afraid to use this word, fearing it is an insult or disrespectful. Why do we think this? Because nondisabled people see themselves as superior to disabled people, like we are inherently broken. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I have slow processing time. So it can be hard to have a verbal conversation with me, because the conversation has changed by the time I have processed and responded. Sometimes it is also hard for me to participate in written conversation when it moves too quickly. I have sensory difficulties, so it is hard for me to join in activities the way others do. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I am not broken though. I am the friend that will sit with you all night, talking as long as you need. I am the parent that loves their kids fiercely, celebrating the glorious diversions from the mainstream that they are. I am the teacher that helps kids' first school experience be a safe and positive one. </span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;"><br></span></div><div><span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">I'd like to see a change in the way people view other people. Ableist slurs can and should become a thing of the past. Separation between Autistic people, as some seek to separate us into gifted and learning disabled, as if those are the binaries we all exist under, should be done away with. No, we are not all the same. But our differences go far beyond an IQ score. I celebrate that diversity.</span></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-47473549720214718302016-02-09T06:18:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:41:30.641-08:00On Self DiagnosisI fall into this category. Though I did see a psychologist that confirmed my own recognition, it is not a formal, paper diagnosis. So I want to speak to that. <div><br><div>Two, (maybe three,) of my kids are Autistic. One has a professional diagnosis, the other an educational diagnosis. While learning more about autism, and seeking advice from Autistic adults, I recognized myself. It was not immediately obvious. <i>We learn to cope. We learn to hide our Autistic traits from an unkind world. We hide who we really are, so the world doesn't know we are disabled. </i>The more I learned though, the more I knew that inside, who I really was, regardless of how well I've learned to fake being neurotypical, was an Autistic person. I <span style="font-family: 'Helvetica Neue Light', HelveticaNeue-Light, helvetica, arial, sans-serif;">went through the diagnostic criteria to see if perhaps I just "had some traits," but no, it was so clear.</span></div><div><br></div><div>I'm also an anxious person. I don't take anything lightly. I don't want to make false claims. I desperately wanted community, but not with those that were not truly my community. I decided I needed some kind of confirmation. As an adult, presenting as a woman; (I'm nonbinary,) I knew this would not be easy to get.</div><div><br></div><div> So I settled on discussing the issue with a psychologist I already had a relationship with for other reasons. I knew I wouldn't be able to adequately speak to it, as I verbally shut down at emotional times. So I wrote him a letter, 3 pages, single spaced, explaining why I think I do indeed meet criteria. I gave it to him in advance of our appointment. When I arrived for the appointment, he told me he had read through it several times. His response? <b>"You need me to tell you what you already know?" </b>(He then went on to confirm that he agrees with my assessment.) This is it in a nutshell. We know ourselves. Presume competence. Believe us when we tell you we have thought long and hard about this, and have read the criteria. </div><div><br></div><div>Since that time I have joined the Autistic community in full force. I've made wonderful friends. I think I've helped some people with my advocacy. I am glad people have not shut me out of advocacy because I lack a piece of paper. We are all in this together.</div></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-39435060413686925952015-12-23T16:53:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:41:21.044-08:00What Do I Want From The Mighty?I've been thinking a lot about this in the last few days. The Mighty says they want to learn from their mistakes of the past. They say they want to do better. If that is true, then that would be great, but I'm not convinced of that. I hope they prove me wrong. <div><br><div>In light of that, I'd like to offer The Mighty my perspective on how they could do better. </div><div><br></div><div>The Mighty claims to support disabled people and their families. I can address this issue from both the perspective of a disabled person, and as family of disabled people, because I am an Autistic parent, and I have Autistic children. So I'll start with the parent side first.</div><div><br></div><div>I recognized disability in one of my children about 6 years ago. At that time, there was not a lot of community support that I found helpful. I didn't yet know he was Autistic, but what I read of autism was more scary than educational. Although your site did not yet exist, stories like the ones you share were consuming the Internet. When people say it is so very kind to treat a disabled person with basic dignity, it harms the disability community. Because of these inspiration porn stories, I pictured a life for my son in which people would congratulate themselves for being his friend, or chatting politely at his place of work, or allowing him to score in a sporting event. The idea of that broke me apart. It didn't uplift me. Because I knew my son was a real person, full of personality and passion. The consequence was that I fought the idea of disability. I hoped he would outgrow it. I delayed diagnosis and services like OT, because I didn't want that future for him. Once I recognized he was Autistic, I started seeking out the real experts- Autistic people.</div><div><br></div><div>That was a turning point for me. To realize that he was ok, that there were plenty of Autistic adults who didn't wait around for a kind person to go to Homecoming with them. People were out there live damn good lives. Disabled lives. They had genuine achievements to be proud of. Not proud because they did it even though they are disabled. Proud because they are doing genuinely cool things, things they enjoy, things they are good at, sometimes things that make this world a better place. So I followed the real experts, and I never looked back. </div><div><br></div><div>A bit farther into that journey, I recognized that another one of my kids is also Autistic, and that I am too. Today, I see stories from your site in my newsfeed. People are discussing how "kind" it is that someone accepted the cake decorated by an Autistic person, because she thought it would be funny. For the record, I find that pretty unkind, actually. I also find a coworker discussing disability status of another person to be unethical. When sites like yours continuously share these kinds of stories, it causes people to pity people like me. They feel like they have done something great just for using basic manners. They don't see me as their equal. They don't see me as someone who could really be their friend, or capable coworker. That's not making the world better for me or my kids.</div><div><br></div><div>So what do I want? I want you to center disabled people. Let us tell our own stories. Don't just choose the disabled people that talk nicely, and portray a feel good message that nondisabled people want to hear. Seek out people that challenge the status quo. Pay them for their time. Make the stories you print be mostly disabled perspectives, not just a few here and there. Give disabled people space to tell their stories, our stories, in our own way. Show us you are ready to listen. </div></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-45372066878843463682015-11-01T11:47:00.001-08:002017-01-11T15:40:47.878-08:00SilencedOver the last month, for a variety of reasons, I feel like I have been effectively silenced. Today is Autistics Speaking Day, and today I want to break my silence. So often non-Autistic people tell us to talk nicely, to understand their point of view, and to quite simply, shut up. <div><br><div>I am coming up on 1 year since I was informally diagnosed as Autistic. I have attempted to find ways to advocate, and to connect with my community. I am so grateful to my Autistic friends for welcoming me in, and serving as my guides. There have been non-Autistic people that were interested in hearing Autistic points of view as well. Some amplify Autistic voices, and that is wonderful and necessary. Others though, silence us by any means necessary. </div><div><br></div><div>Not long ago I wrote something that criticized parents that publicly display their child's challenges. Yes, many non-Autistic people heard that message, thought about it, and agreed. Wonderful! Others, though, brushed it off with comments of, "what about their need for support?" These are silencing tactics. It's a way of telling us that we are wrong, rather than contemplating our words.</div><div><br></div><div>A couple of weeks later, I experienced a far greater silencing. Some internet trolls harassed me on Twitter, to such an extent that I had to block and report hundreds of people, and make my profile protected. My crime? Advocating against people that say Autistic people are dangerous. Fighting for my humanity is met with horrendous, triggering, attacks on my identity. And I was effectively silenced.</div><div><br></div><div>But no more. I have been rebuilding again. I am speaking up again. Because what we have to say is important.</div></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-29454403229442353732015-10-01T15:15:00.000-07:002017-01-11T15:41:11.322-08:00Kinds of AutismI recently read an article entitled, "My Son Has the Kind of Autism No One Talks About." There was some good in it, as it discussed a need for inclusion of Autistic people, but it also left me frustrated and angry. It didn't discuss any real ways to include us, and I am tired of people sharing the perspective of parents, rather than the perspective of Autistic people. There are lots of us! I find it comical that the author says her son's "kind of autism" isn't talked about. From my perspective, shared by many other Autistic people, the doom and gloom of autism is what is always shared. We all have support needs, and those support needs vary from person to person. Like the writer, I am not a fan of the feel-good stories about the disabled person attending prom, because they are focused on the non-disabled person and intended to pat non-disabled people on the back for simply being our friends. Here is the thing. Autistic people have value! Really, we do. Let me say it again for the people in the back, <u>all Autistic people have value</u>! Does that mean the Autistic person who does not speak and requires support at all times, even as an adult has value? Yes, yes it does. I hate how she refers to the Autistic prodigy playing the piano better than Billy Joel. No, we are not all gifted, but we all have value. We all have things we are good at, and we all need help. The prodigy playing the piano needs help too. Autism is a disability. The Neurodiversity movement is not about denying that fact. I am an Autistic parent, wife, and teacher. I am good at a lot of things. I am also disabled. Some things are really hard, and that's ok. What's not ok is complaining about how hard your life raising an Autistic child is. Autistic children often understand more than you think they do. Many Autistic children will one day read that blog post written about them. How do you think they will feel when that day comes? I see it as a red flag when a parent writes about how hard it is to parent their child. Every year in March the disability community comes together to mourn children murdered by their caregivers. We say their names, and remember them for the beautiful, valuable life they led. People give these parents a platform to talk about their frustrations, and sometimes those same children being written about end up having their names read on our Disability Day of Mourning. The author of this story is right that behavior is communication. We need to listen to what kids are saying though. Stop mourning for what you can't do because of your Autistic child, and start celebrating the child that is right here. Listen to what they are telling you, through words, signs, typing, pictures, or behavior. Keep looking for ways to help that child communicate! Find your community with other Autistic adults and children. We are here and we are valuable. Get involved with a local autism organization, (not Autism Speaks.) Find an organization that celebrates your family, such as a local chapter of the Autistic Self Advocacy Network. Your child is worth it.Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-77932686298319414852015-07-11T21:24:00.000-07:002017-01-11T15:40:35.441-08:00What's wrong with Autism Speaks from an Autistic point of viewIt seems everyone is aware of autism these days. I can't think of anyone I have met, who has never heard of autism. Autism Speaks has made sure that we are all aware. Their latest awareness piece came in the form of an article in People magazine, proclaiming Bob and Suzanne Wright to be heroes, battling the autism epidemic. Battling. Epidemic. The hate speech never ends with Autism Speaks. It is as if they are unaware that Autistic people don't want you to go to war with our brains. My family became aware of our own autism, right at the same time that Autism Speaks was getting off the ground, and becoming a widely known entity. So they made sure that we knew that autism was something to be afraid of. My Autistic son was 5 years old in 2009, when Autism Speaks stated, "I am autism.... I work faster than pediatric aids, cancer, and diabetes combined. And if you're happily married, I will make sure that your marriage fails." <a href="http://autisticadvocacy.org/2009/09/horrific-autism-speaks-i-am-autism-ad-transcript/">http://autisticadvocacy.org/2009/09/horrific-autism-speaks-i-am-autism-ad-transcript/</a> Where are the help and the resources? OT services could be provided for families to get help with understanding their children's sensory needs. Communication devices to help people communicate more effectively with their families would certainly help many of us. No, fear is all Autism Speaks has to offer. Autism Speaks raises millions of dollars with their pity campaigns, and yet, only gives 4% back to families in the communities. <a href="http://loveexplosions.net/2014/10/31/oops-they-did-it-again-autism-speaks-2013-financials-just-released/">http://loveexplosions.net/2014/10/31/oops-they-did-it-again-autism-speaks-2013-financials-just-released/</a> <br>
My son was only 2 years old when Autism Speaks made a documentary called Autism Every Day. This movie is a pity party for parents of Autistic children, the worst part being when a mom talks about wanting to drive her Autistic child off a bridge, while her Autistic daughter is in the room, and says she only did not do that because of her other, non-Autistic child. <strong>http://tinyurl.com/nnhveky</strong> These are the things that do the most damage. Autistic children are murdered by their parents at an alarming rate. Yet, in the media, which Autism Speaks is always at the center of, this is excused. People lament the lack of services, think of the martyr parents, and shake their heads at the unfortunate lot in life to have an Autistic child. <a href="http://www.autistichoya.com/2013/03/honoring-dead.html">http://www.autistichoya.com/2013/03/honoring-dead.html</a> In their most recent documentary, Sounding the Alarm, there is more of the same. Over and over again, the message from Autism Speaks is that autism is an epidemic to be battled. They don't take the time to talk to Autistic people of any age to get their opinions on what services are needed, or what message should be sent to the world at large. Instead, they speak to weeping parents, and call for more services as they exploit Autistic people's darkest moments for profit. They show a complete and utter disrespect for Autistic people in every action that they take. Because of this, it is very difficult for me to tell people that I am Autistic. I know it changes their opinion of me, because of the lies that Autism Speaks told them about people like me. No organization has done more harm to the community they claim to help. It makes me sad that they are the leading resource doctors, therapists, businesses, and everyone else, looks to when seeking information about autism. How can they be the leading resource when they do not even consult with Autistic people in any meaningful roles? <a href="https://www.autismspeaks.org/about-us/board-directors">https://www.autismspeaks.org/about-us/board-directors</a> It's time for people to stop listening to Autism Speaks, and start listening to Autistic people. Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-66416447035111172782015-06-13T13:36:00.001-07:002017-01-11T15:40:24.955-08:00What's the opposite of warrior mom?I am not a warrior mom. My kids learn differently than other kids, and I learn differently than other adults. They enjoy different things, and act differently. Again, so do I. I am not searching for a miracle treatment, or practicing "skills" 24, 7. We are just being us. Sometimes I feel judged for that, like I don't want good outcomes for my kids. That's not true. I want all the best for my kids, but my idea of best differs from that of the warrior moms. I want my kids to be proud of who they are, just as they are. I want them to be with people that make them happy, and do things that make them happy. My goal is not the appearance of typicality. No one in my family is typical, but our atypicality makes us who we are, and who we are is pretty great. Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-7377559814933389132015-05-16T09:28:00.001-07:002017-01-11T15:39:49.256-08:00Autism Positivity: Acceptance, Love, and Self-careI'm a day late. I guess that's the point though, of self care. I'm learning to not live my life according to other people's standards. Thankfully, the Autistic community, my community, accepts that, celebrates it even, so it's ok to be a day late, and won't be met with exasperation. To me, acceptance is about doing things on my timeline, (which is generally slower than the norm). It's about doing things in my way. Love. Loving my unique perspective. I often find my perspective varies from the crowd, is considered radical, and I'm getting better at expressing that varied opinion. I'm recognizing that I'm not wrong just because my opinion is the minority. I know she didn't write the quote, by I first read this quote on Neurodivergent K's blog, and I fell in love with it:<div><p align="left"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">When the mob and the press and the whole world tell you to move, your job is to plant yourself like a tree beside the river of truth, and tell the whole world</span></p><p align="center"></p><div style="text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">"No, <i>you</i> move."</b></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: start;"><b style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);"><br></b></div><div style="text-align: start;"><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: auto; background-color: rgba(255, 255, 255, 0);">So I'm learning to be more outspoken. Self care. Learning to take care of myself, my needs, my convictions. That's my autism positivity. The gift the Autistic community has given me of recognizing and standing by your convictions regardless of the opinions of the majority, because the majority is often wrong.</span></div><div style="text-align: start;"><br></div><div style="font-weight: bold; text-align: start;"><br></div><p></p></div>Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-9572498056044741902015-04-30T17:22:00.001-07:002017-01-11T15:39:28.259-08:00BADD-Blogging Against Disablism/Combatting Negative Media MessagesGood riddance to my first April as an Autistic person. Of course, it's not my first April as an Autistic person. It's just the first April that I knew I was Autistic. The ableism cuts deeper when you know they're referring to you. It wasn't too many years ago that I didn't have much of an idea what autism was. My first intro to autism for real, where I thought it might be close to me, was when a pediatrician casually mentioned the possibility at a doctor appointment. My son, (now 11 years old,) was 9 months old and not yet laughing. I went home and immediately googled autism. This was my introduction to the ableism. The images, anecdotes, and articles all painted such a horrific picture of autism that I blocked the thought out for several years. The ableism that runs rampant in the media told me things like, if my son "had autism" he would never be able to tell me he loved me. He would never live an independent life. He would never have real friends. "People with autism," as they love to "respectfully" call us, lack empathy and fit the profile of a psychopath, the media says. A quick google search will tell you page after page about what is wrong and broken, never to be fixed, or worse--we have the magical cure if only you... So I logged off and shut the idea out of my mind. I could have been getting him help. We could have used the help of an occupational therapist to address his sensory needs, if I wasn't so busy pretending they didn't exist. We could have used the help of a speech pathologist to help him communicate. But no, any help we might get wasn't worth selling my soul. Ultimately though, I couldn't ignore it any more. Lucky for me, by this point I did know some actually Autistic people, and I knew that I liked them. I knew that they didn't fit the descriptions I had read about. So my son got his diagnosis and the help he needed. Now I know that I'm Autistic too, and I've learned a lot about what that really means in the last 10 years since this journey began. The thing is that all the messages out there, in the form of "Awareness" do so much harm to actual Autistic people. For us it meant waiting to get real help, because we thought it meant admitting this terrible, bleak future. Now it means fighting the stigma day after day. It means that I am an Autistic wife, mother, and teacher, but very few people know I am Autistic because it is unsafe. I have proven myself to be a great teacher, capable and caring; and yet, if my colleagues knew I was Autistic, they would look for my flaws instead. They would assume me incapable of certain tasks. That's because of the ableism disguised as awareness so common these days. No, I wasn't caused by vaccines. Yes, I do think autism has its benefits. Yes, my son and I are great, nice people with some weird quirks. No, going for a walk and talking about my deficiencies does not help me, and no I don't prefer person first language. I want Autistic people to be treated as the real people we are. Support us when we need it, but also recognize what good we bring to the table. Lay the negative, disabling rhetoric aside. I want a different world for my son and for myself, and your "awareness" isn't helping.Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8076624087465405082.post-65953869661615187592015-04-06T18:56:00.001-07:002017-01-11T15:39:14.200-08:00Blue LightsI may as well get a post like this out of the way, because it is what is on my mind 24/7 right now. I am sick and tired of blue lights, puzzle pieces, and people who don't know what's wrong with them. I am a teacher, and most of my colleagues think Autism Speaks is great, puzzle pieces are great, and we should all be wearing blue. As an Autistic woman, using blue to represent autism makes me feel erased, even if the color wasn't associated with Autism $peaks. I wish the "awareness" would just stop. I don't want a month. I want every day people to listen to Autistic people. Support our needs. Celebrate our successes with us. Awareness in the form of understanding what our needs might look like is a good thing, but the fear and hate rhetoric has got to stop!Autistic Veganhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02443329243579499514noreply@blogger.com0